my feathers' are royally ruffled.

my future in-laws. nbd.

This shit is rockin' my world. I was moderately excited to watch the whole thing, but I really didn't expect to be this into it. I watched a couple documentaries in preparation earlier in the week, but I didn't go nuts. Now I'm fucking glued to the couch, flipping between channels, trying to catch everything. 

Thoughts: 

1. These hats are sooooooooooooooooo unreal. I want. Seriously. But I'm pretty sure half these women can't see a fucking thing. But they look fabulous.
2. Oh hi, Posh and Becks!
3. OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAAWWWWDDDDDDDD how fucking good do the princes look? Unreal. My jaw LITERALLY dropped. Wow. That is all.
4. Carol Middleton=MILF
5. I don't know who those posh bitches are, but those hats are amazing!
6. Aww, the Queen. So cute. 
7. I don't really understand why the bridal party is so young...
8. OH MY OH MY OH MY KATE! That dress is stunning!!!!!! LACE <3 <3 <3 I am so glad I stayed up for this. I'm also glad you didn't go strapless.
9. I know I'm being ridiculous, but if you are watching, you understand.
10. Awwwww cutie baby bridesmaids. Also, hot sis, but why is she wearing white?
11. Again, Kate is just stunning. I'm in awe.
12. HOLY SHIT I'm freaking out! Butterflies. I'm gonna vom.
13. I've already started with the tears. Fantastic.
14. I said that was all, I lied. SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.
15. No words.
16. Ok, I obviously lied. Lots of words. Did you see him mouth you look beautiful? How has she not fainted yet? Cue the waterworks.
17. How rad is it to have Posh, Becks, Elton and the Queen singing for you?
18. That choir was adorable. I must have one for my wedding.
19. Did you see the sleeping nun? WTF?
20. I don't know how they all managed to keep it together.
21. Standing at the doors of the Cathedral, they looked just like Cinderella and Prince Charming.
22. Oh wow. Just lovely. So beautiful.
23. Bedtime.

an outfit for the royal wedding.

on the sly.

I'm getting down right fed up with this fucking chart. It has really just become a testament to how sad my situation is. The chart now sits in desolation with minute changes from week to week. And while it might look like some specimens are holding strong, they really aren't. Right now I feel like half the chart could be empty. Four months ago it was exciting, lots of new things were going on and I could have updated it everyday if I wanted. Here's a looksie at the original chart, the one that started it all:

This started as a joke between friends, but turned out to be a useful tool for perspective. I'd like to see it get back to it's glory days though. School's out for summer, and this weekend is gonna get rowdy, hopefully there's something to report next week. xx

gotcha bitch.

twenty one awesome things from my childhood.

1. Now and Then

The best movie ever made. Try to tell me you didn't pause it at the part with the naked boys. I know you did. It's okay, everyone did it.

2. Beanie Babies

Somehow the makers of these bad boys had us all convinced that they would be valuable one day. What a crock of shit. But they were still awesome. Remember the magazines? And protectors for the fucking tags?

3. Barbie

A real classic. Who didn't have at least 20. I especially loved to buy my Barbie and Kelly matching outfits. I never had a proper Ken, instead a New Kids on the Block Substitute:

he had a rat tail.

4. Kitty Kitty Kittens

These things purred when you squeezed their internal organs, I mean, how awesome is that?!

5. Mary Kate and Ashley

I don't know if I have ever loved anything or anyone more than these two. Brother for Sale, Full House, You're Invited To..., The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley, How the West was Fun, It Takes Two, Billboard Dad, Passport to Paris, Winning London, To Grandmother's House We Go, Double Double Toil and Trouble, Two of a Kind, So Little Time. SO MUCH FUCKING AWESOMENESS! Seriously.

6. Rugrats

where the hell is Suzie Carmichael?

This show was hilarious. I think I've seen every episode at least twenty times.

7. Sailor Moon

Second to my Mary-Kate and Ashley obsession, Sailor Moon ruled my life for quite some time. In fact, I used to pray to Jesus every night for one of those transformation wands. Never got one. Still rattled to this day.

8. Babysitter’s Club

Friggin' loved this shit. The vacation specials, Karen the little sister. The movie. The TV show. All of it.

9. Macarena

The best dance ever created. How can you forget busting this bad boy out at the school sock hops?

10. Polly Pocket

Back in the day, Polly was tiny as fuck. Her little collectible worlds had tiny beds and ponds and skating rinks. Polly usually only lasted a week before you lost her tiny ass though.

11. Cootie Catchers/Fortune Tellers

These bad boys determined everyone's futures. Imagine my glee when my German professor had us make them last semester! 

12. Neopets

Neopets came later in life, with the revolution that was the internet. It taught me a very important life lesson: I have an addictive personality and should never gamble with real money. I was hooked on blowing money at all of the Fortune Wheels, but didn't buy my pet's food so they always got free omlette. I'm a terrible person.

13. Pokemon

This fad took my school by storm. Kids bought and traded cards like crack. I never really played the game, I just liked to collect them. And watch the TV show religiously. Fuckin' Team Rocket.

14. Scholastic

Oh my gawd. My mother would rarely let me order things, but I could usually sweet talk my Grandma. Everything looks ten times better in a scholastic book order. Especially those collector's sets with bonus ponies. Scholastic was a precursor to online shopping habits.

15. I SPY

Who couldn't spend hours poring over those pages, looking for the tiny fucking thimble. Good times.

16. Super Solvers Math Games

My babysitter had this game on her old school Mac, it's a wonder my math skills aren't better considering how much time I spent playing it.

17. Fruit by the Foot

Is there any other way to eat fruit?

 18. Tamagotchis

They gave you real hands on pet care experience.

19. Dunkaroos

Cookies? DIPPED IN ICING?! Holy shit! What more could a kid want?

20. Gel Pens

All the rage in my formative years (ie grade four). Teachers hated them, I couldn't get enough of them. All of your most important notes had to be written in gel for effect.

21. Magic School Bus

I have never learned as much in a university class as I did watching the Magic School Bus. I'm talkin' serious life lessons, like eating too many sea-weedies will make you turn orange.



What did I miss, what are you're favorite childhood memories? xx

twenty reasons a best friend is better than a boyfriend.

20 Reasons a Best Friend is Better Than a Boyfriend: glamour.com

paris je t'aime.

agreed.

i want all of this. now.

happy easter.

hoppy easter everyone! (I had to)

I hope you are all enjoying enormous easter dinners and tons of chocolate.

I took a brief hiatus from posting/the internet to go visit with family in Nowhere, Saskatchewan. Seriously. The town's population tripled once my family arrived. Lots of good times with my famjam. My grandpa made too many inappropriate jokes, there were big potato dumplings and I think fun was had by all.

The Easter Bunny did bring me some treats, but apparently he didn't get the memo that I've had my eye on this chocolate boyfriend for awhile. Rich, dark, silent and satisfying...what more could a girl ask for?xx

another handy dandy tool.

there's spring in the air.

There's really nothing exciting to report. It's taking a little longer than expected for things to heat up. Not really committed to anything at this point. You're bored? Imagine how I feel. xx

i now have a goal.

Thanks Alexi for this fantastic single girl's dating checklist! Here are some of my picks!

10. a nerd.

12. an Asian guy with long hair who defies every stereotype.

13. a really funny guy.

20. a lawyer.

24. a guy who loves his mom.

25. a chef. but only for a brief period, so the time to lose the weight you’ve gained before you’re on to the next guy is minimal.

31. a romantic.

34. a guy who loves you.

44. a guy who would NEVER give up coffee, cuz he LOVES it/knows it’s so great!

46. a guy with a cool/great family that you really like, who really like you too.

47. an english guy.

48. a french guy. Only so you can learn the language while sexxxing and laying around in bed between kisses.

49. a red head.

50. an older man.

Check out the rest of the list here: http://imboycrazy.com/2011/04/one-of-each-a-single-girls-dating-checklist/

i promise to...?

puke

Promise rings. Everytime I see one I want to barf. IF YOU HAVE ONE, PLEASE DON’T HATE ME. I just don’t understand them. First of all, what is it that you are promising exactly? To maybe consider thinking about possibly getting married? To be together forever—until you aren’t? Why not just move right to the engagement ring? I researched the history of promise rings (on Wikipedia, don’t hate, that shit’s legit) and all I concluded was back in the day couples that were too broke to get married got promise rings. So unless your family can’t afford to pay your dowry (which I doubt, seeing as it isn’t 1864), I see no good reason for them. Isn’t it a given that you will be monogamous in your relationship, do you really need a ring to remind you not to go home with that rando? Honestly, I’m less opposed to purity rings. At least those are cut and dry.  No sex until you’re married. Engagement rings- you’re gonna get married. Wedding rings- you’re married.  Promise rings…? I mean really. xx

a fling. a thing. not a ring.

I think. I think and I think and I think. I make lists. Pro-con, best of, worst of. Charts. Tables. Graphs. Tools to help me analyze. Sort out my thoughts. It helps and it doesn’t help. Sort of like this blog.  I can’t shut my brain off. I just went for a drive, which usually helps. But it didn’t. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if all twenty-something girls are like this? I’ll admit to being boy crazy, but is it boy crazy…or just plain crazy? Everyone I know is in a relationship. And I happen to love my best friend’s boyfriends, which just makes it harder to secretly hate them. I’ve never been in a relationship. Not even close. There was this one-week dalliance once… but that’s a whole other story. I can't even say I suck at dating, I've never really tried it.  Maybe I should just take the advice from this vintage dating guide, find myself a real good man. 

 I’m a self-admitted serial crusher; I doubt I’ve gone a month in the past 8 years without a slight infatuation with someone. And let me tell you, I’ve had a crush on every kind of boy they make. Jocks, musicians, foreign exchange students, teachers, older, younger, French, English, tall, short. I just can't find one that fits. I think I’m getting better at accepting people for who they are, and not what I want them to be, but there’s still a lot of disappointment. And I sure as hell won't be lowering my standards, I'm not desperate, just a little frustrated.  Everyone says it’ll happen when it happens (fuck you, Lee and Anne Marie)…. but it hasn’t happened. I don’t need Mr. Right. Just Mr. Right Now. A fling. A thing. Not a ring. I guess I always just thought I’d be the girl who dated a lot before getting serious.  There’s obviously still time for that, but being an optimist gets tiring. What if I end up being the crazy old cat lady? Someone’s gotta do it. Who says it won’t be me? I wish I could just stop thinking about it. But I have no control. Someone please tell me i'm not the only one. xx

P.S. Since you've been so good about enduring my ranting, here is a gratuitous hottie. Happy studying.

I watched It's Complicated with my mom last night and
was reminded of my love for Hunter Parrish. Yum.

i'm not jealous.

You're right, I did just want a reason to post another 

picture of him... Like I needed one...Is that a guitar? Fuck.

I hate those people who have everything going for them. The ones who were just born perfect. You know those people, they’re gorgeous, brilliant, and way too fucking talented. If you don’t know one, you will someday. And you first reaction will be Hey! Fuck you! But on top of everything they’re actually the nicest person ever, and all you can think is Hey! I want to BE you! I mean you’ve got to be kidding me, you look like you just stepped out of the pages of GQ, you’re in law AND you play guitar? What’s next, you’re mad hung? Who am I kidding, of course you are.  You look like Alessandra Ambrosio, you were just accepted into medicine AND you have awesome taste in music? Go die! Share some of that shit with the rest of the world! Now I know you’re thinking everyone has something going for them, right? True-- but some people just got a little more than their share! Ryan Gosling, I’m looking at you here. I mean really, Mickey Mouse Club, good looks, carpentry, piano playing, singing AND being an award winning actor? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. xx

I couldn't agree more.

Leggings are not pants!

From: www.collegehumor.com

ode to a ginger.

In honor of my favourite ginger making the cover of British GQ I decided it was high time for the follow-up post on redheads. I have recently come to realize that I have a huge thing for gingers, and I'm not really sure why. If I were ever to have children with one, I'm pretty sure my genes would dominate. Although it is possible to be redheaded and black... But that's besides the point. This is an ode to all the beautiful gingers of the world, I'm sorry not everyone appreciates your beauty like I do.

Prince Harry

You have had some questionable behaviour in the past, but I've always thought you were the better looking brother. Call me when you're ready to settle down. 

Rupert Grint

You are a babe. You have only gotten hotter as the movies have progressed. In the Deathly Hallows your arms were looking fantastic. Hermione is a lucky woman.

Shaun White 

I actually watched the Vancouver Olympics, mostly to stare at you. Your hair is a beautiful thing, and though you are on the short side, I will forgive this because you are an Olympian.

Dr. Owen Hunt

Hot ginger doctor, who is Scottish in real life? Hawt Damn. Also, your secret make-out spot is among the best I have ever seen.

Mr. Bingley

Not only are you adorable, but incredibly wealthy. Just lovely.

crazy, stupid, love.

Not much to report today, numbers have dropped a bit since last week. I feel like I need a newcomer to blow the others out of the water. Fingers crossed. If Ryan Gosling was on the list, he'd take up the whole thing. Have you seen the trailer for his new movie? It's got me all hot and bothered. I'm working on a new post, but this should tide you over in the meanwhile.

a dream is a wish your heart makes. haha.

there are no words.

Here's a link to the rest: http://acidcow.com/pics/4611-sexy-fairytale-male-characters-20-pics.html

some study break eye candy.

So naturally, I'm watching reruns of Manhunt (the boy version of ANTM) on OutTv instead of studying for my final. Hey, it's human sexuality, it must count as extra credit or something! Anyhow I watched the show when it first aired in 2004, and I was pretty much in love with Jon Jonsson. Seven years later and he's still a babe. The perfect specimen for a hybrid baby daddy, yes? Enjoy.

twenty one things for every girl's wardrobe.

a girl can dream, right?

1. Jeans that make your ass look fantastic. If you don't love your ass in them jeans, DON'T BUY 'EM!
2. A (faux) leather jacket. Real or fake, you’ve never felt so badass.
3. Something sequined. For dancing!
4. Lacy underwear. You don’t have to show anyone, they can be just for you. Or not.
5. Insta-fab sunglasses. The secret weapon. Use these to disguise the fact that it’s been two days since your last shower. Not that that would ever happen ;)
6. Black tights, they go with everything.
7. Boots. The kind that will last 40 years.
8. A wide array of going-out shirts. No point splurging, you'll get sick of them after two wears anyhow.
9. A jean jacket. They're surprisingly versatile.
10. Pashminas. Lots of them.
11. A huge-everything-INCLUDING-the-kitchen-sink purse. For when you gotta get stuff done.
12. A tiny-nothing-but-cash-and-id purse, preferably with a cross body strap. Great for dancing!
13. A trench coat. For when you need to feel like a grown up.
14. Denim shorts. The older, the better. For lazy summer days.
15.  T-shirts. Black and white at the very least.
16. Cute flats. For everyday.
17. Layering tanks. I doubt I’ve gone a day in the past five years without one.
18. A fun, flirty dress. For when you want to feel like a girl.
19. Basic Hoodies in neutrals.
20. A little black dress. This should really go without saying.
21. Killer heels. The kind that make you feel like a million bucks. A must.

what a hunk.

this post is under the influence.

Fuck boys, and their good looks, and their witticisms and their nice arms. Fuck their smiles, fuck their beards, fuck it all. And fuck MacDonalds. Why are you my only refuge. When I am thirty I will blame you for my thighs. Right now the only thing I can blame you for is the extra McFlurry spilled on my floor. Shit mothafucka. xx

please, make it stop.

Hey you. Yes, you! Could you please remove your tongue from your boyfriend’s mouth, and his hand from your ass? I am not sure if you are aware, but you are currently in a public place. And to make matters worse, I am being forced to stare at you until you realize that I am waiting for you to fucking order. No, it is not okay to mack on your significant other in grade ten math, sociology, psychology, or even human sexuality for that matter. I didn't sign up for that shit. I am trying not to vomit as I stand here watching you suck face with that tall ginge*— an obscenity I am forced to bear witness to every MWF.  I am not opposed to public display of affection; in fact I look forward to them someday.  But I will be a respectful human being, and keep such acts from inappropriate places such as lecture halls, food lines, and buses. I mean really?! What’s sexy about the bus?! Nothing. That old man who’s enjoying the show a little too much? Those twelve-year-old boys imitating you?! WHAT?! Why not some nice, pg-13, hand holding? I’m not bitter (only a little), I just feel that I should be able to go about my day (staring at people) without being forced to watch something that seems like it could turn into an amateur porno any minute. Speaking of amateur pornos…to all the people I suspect of having sex on the d-floor, NOT COOL!!! NOT COOL!! OH MY GAWWDDD! You aren’t really doing what I think you’re doing? I feel like I may get pregnant from being in the same room.  It’s nice that you found someone who is attracted to you (I didn't think it was possible), but let’s all keep our clothes on. xx

* more on gingers later.

this is a valuable tool.

thanks www.collegehumor.com

you're my big daddy handsome.

twenty one things that aren't fair.

1.     those arms

2.     the behind-the-head stretching of said arms

3.     that you can be such an ass

4.     that height

5.     that you speak a foreign language

6.     that lip ring

7.     that guitar

8.     that beard

9.     that uniform

10. that you can be so genuinely nice

11. that you’re an athlete

12. that you called your dad papito

13. that you like neil young (this is entirely unintentional from my side)

14.  that you can dance

15. that you can’t dance (but you do it anyhow)

16. those glasses

17. that wit

18. that tattoo

19. that smile

20. that accent

21. that look

Any combination of the preceding means I am at no fault for my behavior, it was out of my control. xx

it's back.

Look at what has made it's return, after a very long 2 month hiatus. More exciting than the forthcoming Royal Wedding, the return of the Coconut Mocha Frappuccino, EVEN more exciting than the upcoming arrival of Sephora in Saskatoon!!!! Okay. Maybe not. But still pretty friggin' good. We've got a pretty standard distribution here, no real standouts, but lots of potential. Plummeting interest resulted in a lack of data for February and March, but now that spring is in the air, anything could happen. xx