just when you thought you had me all figured out.

a triumphant return. sorta...

I don't really know where I've been. I mean, I know where I've been, but I guess I don't really know what I've been doing. I took a break from thinking, I think. Tried to slow down on the crazy. Keep calm, and carry on, if you know what I mean. Maybe it's not so much that I stopped thinking, and more that I started accepting. I've had a couple of conversations recently that sorta made me face some less than ideal truths. My mom said I'm too strong, I scare all the boys away. But I don't think that's the problem. Because the right one for me will like that I'm strong. And I'm glad that I'm strong. It takes a lot to break me, and even then, I'm quite resilient. I think one of the most important things I have realized these past couple years, is that if a guy is interested in you, he'll make it happen. I don't sit around waiting anymore. If he wants me, he wants me. That said, I still expect some common courtesy from the guys I'm involved with. I'm not needy, I'm not clingy. I rarely text, or call, or message. So if I made the effort to contact you, it would be nice if you actually bothered to give me some sort of response. And not a week, month, or year later. I hardly think that's too much too expect. Fuck. I kinda feel like Buffy right now, in the middle of Season Two, when Angel goes all demon on her. Except I'm not a badass slayer, and these guys don't have the lack of a soul to blame.

I wish things would just play out how they do in my mind. xx

i wanna know.

It's sorta funny that there's not much movement this week. I had an interesting weekend, but I guess now things have died down, I'm still floating in the same space. Does that even make sense? Whatever. Here's the chart. xx

lookie lookie what we've got here.

Considering I post my crushes on the internet weekly, I obviously considered the consequences of one of them discovering their presence on my blog. I decided I didn't care. If I like them more than they think I do, then they should be flattered. And for others I hoped it would make them realize I'm not nearly as into them as they think. But first they'd have to figure out which specimen they are. Good luck. xx

i've been reminiscing.

Boys, I've been reminiscing. It’s been a long time and there’s been a lot of you. A lot of crushes. A lot of crushing.  The first time a boy ever told me he liked me I responded with "you're an asshole, you took too long". Twelve years old and I had already made up my mind.  Boys are assholes. Maybe I should give you a chance, but probably not. It couldn’t possibly end well. It's just easier to decide you're a jerk before you actually have the chance to be one. It's a good strategy isn't it? xx

By the way, that boy wasn’t an asshole. He was a sweetheart. Always has been, always will be. 

boo you whore.

 A teensy bit of movement in the chart, but nothing to discuss. Boo. The other day a friend asked what would happen if one specimen became 100%. The answer to that question is, we'd get married. Seriously. I doubt anyone will ever make it to 100%. I don't need someone to be 100% to date them. Not even 75%. I'd hope somewhere around 50% would do it. What can I say, I'm a serial crusher, I don't think I can be expected to change my ways. But being interested in multiple people and being committed to one is a different thing. Right? Oh god is that really bad? I'd like to be surprised, and be proven wrong. xx

staring is encouraged.

I sort of wish I hadn't started posting this fucking chart. It's almost less interesting than my neuropsych homework. Seriously. But, my birthday is this weekend, and let's just say my birthday shenanigans always end up being... interesting. Good interesting. Very good interesting actually. So there's that to look forward to. Also, Saskatoon has a World Cup of Soccer which is this weekend, which I'm sure will be teeming with sexy soccer players. Maybe even one or two players from the chart. Who knows? Let me know if you want to join, staring at athletes is more acceptable than staring at strangers, hell it's even encouraged.  Speaking of staring at athletes... I went to my first ballgame on Monday night. What a bizarre sport. I had a good time hollerin' at the players, and also oogling their asses, but I still have no idea how the game works. Also, they yell the most ridiculous things at each other. Attaboy! Hey big man! Let's go big boy! Hilarious stuff. But super fun. I recommend it to anyone with nothing to do on a monday night, who cares if you don't know the players, I'm sure they'd love to have a hot woman (or man, whatever) yelling innuendos at them... I mean, who wouldn't? xx

Also, just because I love you, here's a sexy swede to drool over.

Find the rest of the shoot at: www.gq.com

april showers.

Sooooooooooo. Things are starting to heat up a little bit. Hopefully it continues. As expected the weekend was interesting, and I've got new eye candy at work. The ginger's have just been rocking my world lately and I love it. All three bear a striking resemblance to Prince Harry granted one actually is Prince Harry(seriously, how fit did he look in that uniform?). Here is this week's version of the chart:

Also, I had one of my wisdom teeth pulled today. Now most people hate going to the dentist. But not me. #1 There's a TV on the ceiling, #2 The chairs are massage chairs, #3 My dentist is sexy. Seriously. Does anyone else have a dentist who wears denim button-ups under their white coats? I'm a lucky girl. xx

on the sly.

I'm getting down right fed up with this fucking chart. It has really just become a testament to how sad my situation is. The chart now sits in desolation with minute changes from week to week. And while it might look like some specimens are holding strong, they really aren't. Right now I feel like half the chart could be empty. Four months ago it was exciting, lots of new things were going on and I could have updated it everyday if I wanted. Here's a looksie at the original chart, the one that started it all:

This started as a joke between friends, but turned out to be a useful tool for perspective. I'd like to see it get back to it's glory days though. School's out for summer, and this weekend is gonna get rowdy, hopefully there's something to report next week. xx

there's spring in the air.

There's really nothing exciting to report. It's taking a little longer than expected for things to heat up. Not really committed to anything at this point. You're bored? Imagine how I feel. xx

crazy, stupid, love.

Not much to report today, numbers have dropped a bit since last week. I feel like I need a newcomer to blow the others out of the water. Fingers crossed. If Ryan Gosling was on the list, he'd take up the whole thing. Have you seen the trailer for his new movie? It's got me all hot and bothered. I'm working on a new post, but this should tide you over in the meanwhile.

it's back.

Look at what has made it's return, after a very long 2 month hiatus. More exciting than the forthcoming Royal Wedding, the return of the Coconut Mocha Frappuccino, EVEN more exciting than the upcoming arrival of Sephora in Saskatoon!!!! Okay. Maybe not. But still pretty friggin' good. We've got a pretty standard distribution here, no real standouts, but lots of potential. Plummeting interest resulted in a lack of data for February and March, but now that spring is in the air, anything could happen. xx