a triumphant return. sorta...

I don't really know where I've been. I mean, I know where I've been, but I guess I don't really know what I've been doing. I took a break from thinking, I think. Tried to slow down on the crazy. Keep calm, and carry on, if you know what I mean. Maybe it's not so much that I stopped thinking, and more that I started accepting. I've had a couple of conversations recently that sorta made me face some less than ideal truths. My mom said I'm too strong, I scare all the boys away. But I don't think that's the problem. Because the right one for me will like that I'm strong. And I'm glad that I'm strong. It takes a lot to break me, and even then, I'm quite resilient. I think one of the most important things I have realized these past couple years, is that if a guy is interested in you, he'll make it happen. I don't sit around waiting anymore. If he wants me, he wants me. That said, I still expect some common courtesy from the guys I'm involved with. I'm not needy, I'm not clingy. I rarely text, or call, or message. So if I made the effort to contact you, it would be nice if you actually bothered to give me some sort of response. And not a week, month, or year later. I hardly think that's too much too expect. Fuck. I kinda feel like Buffy right now, in the middle of Season Two, when Angel goes all demon on her. Except I'm not a badass slayer, and these guys don't have the lack of a soul to blame.

I wish things would just play out how they do in my mind. xx