please, make it stop.

Hey you. Yes, you! Could you please remove your tongue from your boyfriend’s mouth, and his hand from your ass? I am not sure if you are aware, but you are currently in a public place. And to make matters worse, I am being forced to stare at you until you realize that I am waiting for you to fucking order. No, it is not okay to mack on your significant other in grade ten math, sociology, psychology, or even human sexuality for that matter. I didn't sign up for that shit. I am trying not to vomit as I stand here watching you suck face with that tall ginge*— an obscenity I am forced to bear witness to every MWF.  I am not opposed to public display of affection; in fact I look forward to them someday.  But I will be a respectful human being, and keep such acts from inappropriate places such as lecture halls, food lines, and buses. I mean really?! What’s sexy about the bus?! Nothing. That old man who’s enjoying the show a little too much? Those twelve-year-old boys imitating you?! WHAT?! Why not some nice, pg-13, hand holding? I’m not bitter (only a little), I just feel that I should be able to go about my day (staring at people) without being forced to watch something that seems like it could turn into an amateur porno any minute. Speaking of amateur pornos…to all the people I suspect of having sex on the d-floor, NOT COOL!!! NOT COOL!! OH MY GAWWDDD! You aren’t really doing what I think you’re doing? I feel like I may get pregnant from being in the same room.  It’s nice that you found someone who is attracted to you (I didn't think it was possible), but let’s all keep our clothes on. xx

* more on gingers later.