a fling. a thing. not a ring.

I think. I think and I think and I think. I make lists. Pro-con, best of, worst of. Charts. Tables. Graphs. Tools to help me analyze. Sort out my thoughts. It helps and it doesn’t help. Sort of like this blog.  I can’t shut my brain off. I just went for a drive, which usually helps. But it didn’t. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if all twenty-something girls are like this? I’ll admit to being boy crazy, but is it boy crazy…or just plain crazy? Everyone I know is in a relationship. And I happen to love my best friend’s boyfriends, which just makes it harder to secretly hate them. I’ve never been in a relationship. Not even close. There was this one-week dalliance once… but that’s a whole other story. I can't even say I suck at dating, I've never really tried it.  Maybe I should just take the advice from this vintage dating guide, find myself a real good man. 

 I’m a self-admitted serial crusher; I doubt I’ve gone a month in the past 8 years without a slight infatuation with someone. And let me tell you, I’ve had a crush on every kind of boy they make. Jocks, musicians, foreign exchange students, teachers, older, younger, French, English, tall, short. I just can't find one that fits. I think I’m getting better at accepting people for who they are, and not what I want them to be, but there’s still a lot of disappointment. And I sure as hell won't be lowering my standards, I'm not desperate, just a little frustrated.  Everyone says it’ll happen when it happens (fuck you, Lee and Anne Marie)…. but it hasn’t happened. I don’t need Mr. Right. Just Mr. Right Now. A fling. A thing. Not a ring. I guess I always just thought I’d be the girl who dated a lot before getting serious.  There’s obviously still time for that, but being an optimist gets tiring. What if I end up being the crazy old cat lady? Someone’s gotta do it. Who says it won’t be me? I wish I could just stop thinking about it. But I have no control. Someone please tell me i'm not the only one. xx

P.S. Since you've been so good about enduring my ranting, here is a gratuitous hottie. Happy studying.

I watched It's Complicated with my mom last night and
was reminded of my love for Hunter Parrish. Yum.