drunk dialing.

A drink or two into the night, and everything seems like a good idea. Stealing umbrellas, sassing cops, kissing strangers who taste like bubble gum...just me? But there is no offence more common than the drunk dial/text. With so many numbers in your phone, and endless options, somehow you will ALWAYS make the absolute worst choice (the same goes for pocket dialing, but that is a completely different phenomena)

1. The guy you are currently into: You've resisted texting him all night, but that third shot of Jose really released all of your inhibitions. So you think of something extra witty to send in an oh-so-cute-and-coy text message. HE ANSWERED. Yes. Continue flirtatious banter in hopes of meeting up later.

2. The guy you were into before the GYACI: So things didn't turn out with GYACI. That's alright, there's always GYWIBGYACI. Now that you think about it, he was pretty hot. And he wasn't that crazy right? Maybe you were quick to judge. Better give him a call, or shoot him a text. See what he's up to. This will clearly turn out well.

3. The guy(s) before the aforementioned guy: This conversation always starts innocent and ends petty. Very petty. Leave the past in the past ladies. Seriously.

4. That guy you were into in High School: This could go one of two ways. You realize that high school was a long fucking time ago, and have no idea why you were ever into said boy. OR you realize he's still just as cute as ever, and reminisce about the good old days.

5. That guy you hooked up with a year ago: While you've got your phone out, better send GYHUWYA a quick text, just to see what's up. He always knows where the good parties are. Bonus points if he just broke up with his gf.

6. The stranger from the bar. This really is the bottom of the barrel. But you just HAVE to make sure he still thinks you're cute. A little harmless flirting can't hurt - chances are he doesn't even know your name. And if you remember correctly he was very good looking, right?

I have been the sender, and recipient of both sorts of messages, and to tell you the truth, I'm pretty sure one party always regrets it in the morning. If not, your luck will surely run out. My official recommendation: If you find yourself tipsy and bored and suspect you might regret hitting the send button, text one of your girlfriends instead, it'll keep your mind and your fingers occupied. xx.