a note on notties.

On occasion, while watching a movie, I’m struck with this thought: “what the fuck was the director thinking, that’s no hottie!” I understand that not every movie hottie is chosen to my exact specifications, but I can appreciate a good looking man when I see one. However, I have never been able to get into any of the following notties, regardless of how good the movie is.

Thomas Jane in The Sweetest Thing

I love this movie, but not this hottie. His hair is awful, I mean what color is that?! Jason Bateman plays his brother, and I'm pretty sure he should have been cast as the leading man, at least he's charming. Admittedly, Thomas did get better looking recently, but that still doesn't make up for this movie.

Aidan Quinn in Practical Magic

He's supposed to have two different colored eyes, which should be dead sexy, but in my opinion this is still a fail. Angelov and Michael are totally way hotter. Who cares if Angelov is abusive, and an attempted murderer? Dude smolders!

Justin Walker in Clueless

What was Cher thinking? Ethan was totally hotter than this sleezy Christian fella. Besides the fact that he was clearly gay, he was a total cheeseball. While I'm still not entirely on board with the whole dating your stepbrother thing, Josh is ten thousand times better than Christian.

Nicolas Cage in City of Angels


Really, Nicolas Cage in anything. Ew. I find it hard to believe that they couldn't find a better looking man to play a fallen angel. I get how Meg fell for the whole angel thing, but I wish they could have found someone better. Dude's creepy. And those long leather jackets? Sooo not hot.

Keanu Reeves in Sweet November


I have never been able to get into Keanu. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way. Ugh. That is all.

Ethan Stiefel in Center Stage


Okay, I get it. You're a real ballerina. But they couldn't have found someone with a bit more sizzle? I mean, Natalie managed to snag herself a sexy ballerino. In the end, you don't get the girl, but the fact that you were in the running seriously concerns me. On a side note: Peter Gallagher-- in my humble opinion you were the real hottie in that movie. ;)

Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink


I really saved the best for last here. This is the nottie that really drew my attention to the whole subject. His upper lip is just bizarre. I understand that the 80's were difficult for everyone, and I can learn to embrace some of the flaws, but this is not one of them. Worst. Movie. Hottie. Ever.




Side Note:

Prrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The nottie should not be confused with the ugly-sexy-hottie. See Vincent Cassel. xx