what if.

What if you already know the person you’re going to marry.  Maybe it’s a casual acquaintance. Someone you just met. Someone you’ve known forever. Maybe it’s a high school classmate. Or the boy whose notes you used to borrow in your first year? The girl next door? Your best guy friend?

I guess it’s easier to imagine if you’re currently in a relationship, but I’ve never been there so it seems as though there’s a world of possibilities. I always imagine myself going to Europe, meeting some charming gentleman and falling in love. On the other hand, I can also see myself marrying my dentist. If I’ve already met my future spouse then what the hell are they doing? What the hell am I doing?

Of course there's always the chance that you'll never marry. That I'll never marry. I don't think I believe in soul mates, fate maybe, but not soul mates. I certainly hope there's more than one chance for that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff. xx

thought of the day.

I want to kiss boys all the time. It's just the loveliest way to pass the time. xx

he's totally into it.

waiting in vain.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” 
                                                   ― Bob Marley

i want to see you brave and manly.

Check out the rest of these pictures here, I promise it's well worth your time.

an open letter to the mystery hottie at work.

warning: stunt hottie was used

Hi,

Let's get serious here. You're a babe. Your winsome smile made me melt. Swoon, even. I would just like to say THANK YOU, for making my day at least twenty times better. You may be one of the hottest guys I have ever seen, my clothes were nearly off by the time your coffee was ready. A grande Americano no room-- sexiest drink order ever, and let me tell you, coffee orders play a pivotal role in my judgement of your sexiness. You look like a movie star, who somehow stumbled into the wrong city. You're so hot that you must certainly be affected by hot guy syndrome, but in my dreams you're oblivious to your good looks, and you're just a humble gentleman looking for the love of his life. Or at least the lust of his life. I'll give you a hint. IT'S ME. The time we shared was brief (I'd like to see you in yours), but I'm hoping my radiant beauty will draw you back. I'd like to thank Howard for forcing us to ask every customer their name, it's creepy-- yet informative. But my internet creeping skills have failed me, alas you retain your mysterious allure. For now. xx

Here's a present!

wake up alone.

I was watching 1 girl 5 gays earlier this evening, and one of the questions was: "I refuse to do _________ alone." One guy answered fold laundry, another answered go to a restaurant. I don't really know what my answer would be. I've always wanted to be independent enough to go to dinner alone. But is that sort of sad, or is it completely wonderful. To be comfortable sitting there alone? It requires such personal contentedness, to just sit there with no one to distract you from yourself. Earlier this summer I went to a movie by myself. Midnight in Paris. It ended up being really fitting actually, as it's about a hopeless romantic, wandering the streets alone, lost in his own mind. It was a night or two after I had gone out and made some really bad choices--the kind of choices that stemmed from feeling alone. In a way I think going to the movie alone was a way of proving I could be okay by myself. I've been home alone for three days now, something I was really looking forward to. Peace, quiet, and tidiness. But the stillness surprised me. I've never had this much time alone with myself. At home, at work, at school, I am constantly surrounded. But just as I've discovered that it is often easier to feel lonely in a crowd, I'm starting to realize there's a difference between being alone, and feeling alone. Having alone time with my thoughts is proving to be quite comforting. I think I'll use the rest of my time in solitary confinement to dance in my underwear, explore a nudist lifestyle, catch up on profane and wildly inappropriate TV series, self-reflect, and perhaps I'll see a movie or two. I don't think I'm ready for dinner alone, but I can certainly work up to it. xx

dream as if you'll live forever.

live as if you'll die today.